All of us are in search of someone to share our life with, and it is vital that we discuss issues concerning how we want our lifestyle to be such as parenting our children. Being on the same page with our partner is critical in determining the flow of our marriage someday.
There is no harm in asking. It will prevent a lot of misunderstandings in the long run. Ask your partner which parenting style he prefers, and then you tell him yours.
What Are The Different Parenting Styles?
This kind of parenting is the most ideal for children. Parents set rules, and children will understand the importance of following them. Authoritative parents also reiterate the consequences when children break their rules. There is usually a form of reasonable punishment. Authoritative parents are excellent in communicating with their children and are very caring and considerate of their feelings. They listen as much as they talk that’s why children can voice out their opinions, making them learn confidence.
…be sure your kids really hear you when you ask them to do (or not to do) something. Shouting across the house or up the stairs does not count. — Erica Reischer Ph.D.
This kind of parenting has clear and high expectations for children. Parents are very strict, and punishment is very usual. The difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting is that the rules and punishments are not clear. Parents set them for the children to follow regardless if they understand what they’re for, and there is also less communication. Also, the parents are more of the talkers, and children are expected to follow and listen without question.
Most adults know it makes perfect to set boundaries around unruly behavior. However, the advice doesn’t stick if parents don’t understand why saying no, disappointing their child, or being disliked is hard for them in the first place. — Linda Esposito LCSW
This kind of parenting is like being friends with children. There is little guidance because parents let children figure out things on their own. These kinds of parents tend to be more laid back when it comes to discipline. They believe in allowing and respecting their children to learn and deal with certain situations in life. They want to teach their children to be emotionally independent yet free and happy. These parents are usually the “cool” ones.
This kind of parenting is unhealthy for children. Parents tend to not care whether or not their children will learn a thing or two about their surroundings. They are “come what may” rather than “cool” parents. Unlike permissive parenting where there is open communication, there is none whatsoever in this kind of parenting. These kinds of parents have minimum expectations for their children.
We are programmed to want to make our children happy. This desire often translates to avoidance of anything that makes our child upset, including enforcing consequences for negative behaviors. — Katelyn Alcamo, LCMFT
Knowing which parenting style your partner wants is indeed vital in your relationship. It will prevent misunderstandings in the future. It is also like setting both your expectations on how your relationship with your children will be. You can try to explain your side when your preference is different from him to avoid being caught in the heat of the situation someday. For instance, your partner prefers to implement strict rules and severe punishments. You have the chance to object if you feel otherwise because it is different when you deal with this situation in real-time. Emotions are high, and there might be less chance to talk about it.
Finding a better half means finding someone to help you raise your kids, and it is crucial that you both understand each other when it comes to this matter. You will, after all, be dealing with both your lives and the lives of your children.