Struggling With Parenting: How Online Counseling Can Help

It’s hard to understand the struggles of a parent until you are a parent yourself. You have probably heard your mother say, “You’ll understand it someday.” Yes, you will indeed! Parents’ love for their children is just priceless. They worry a lot because they never want their children to come to any harm and would go their way just to give them the comfort they can in this life.

The truth is there is no shame in seeking parenting counseling. And, if you decide to do so, it doesn’t mean you are a “bad parent.” The decision to work with a parenting counselor just means that you are brave enough to ask for help. — R. Y. Langham, Ph.D.

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Parenting Hacks For Moms With Teens

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Once children reach their teenage years, most moms would start to freak out. During the period of adolescence, some teens can be challenging to deal with. Many factors can easily influence teens to become rebellious. This is why every parent like you must know how to handle your teenage daughter properly. It will be challenging and scary in the beginning, especially when you entertain the possibility that your child will create a distance of herself from you. When this happens, just remind yourself that everything will be worth it in the end.

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Easy Tips To Raise Responsible And Mentally Strong Kids

Most kids nowadays grow up spoiled by their parents. Experts say that this will become a problem in the future. These kids have a higher chance of being dependent, even if they are already adults. Worse, they would not know how to handle their emotions when they go out into the real world.

We get onto the parenthood road thinking it will be exactly like our idyllic own childhood—or nothing like it, if ours was rocky—while integrating our presently held values. — Liz Matheis Ph.D.

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How You Can Help Your Kids Fight Cavities

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While many people are able to visit the dentist and have dental work performed without experiencing much distress, a number of dental clients find themselves worrying over procedures, and a percentage of these experience intense fear and anxiety surrounding such an event, a reaction that is sometimes responsible for preventing or halting treatment. — John Smith Ph.D.

Did you know that tooth decay is the leading chronic disease not only among kids but also among adults? Although genes can make you more prone to cavities, your lifestyle and oral habits play a more significant role. Continue reading

Hacks In Parenting Children With ADHD

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Having and raising a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) requires extra effort. It’s not your usual childrearing where you can leave them in their cribs and let them be while you do household chores. The earlier you master your approach, the higher the chances of your child having a healthier lifestyle.

Most kids with ADHD are expected to have deficits in their executive function. It entails that they have difficulty in thinking and planning, controlling impulses, completing tasks, and organizing. As a parent, you need to focus and provide extra guidance in these areas so that they can acquire these skills in their capacity.

Although various challenges come with raising kids with this disability, there will always be parenting hacks that you can rely on. Here are some of them.

Awareness is often the first step, and greater awareness may be necessary before action can happen. — Ben Ringler, MFT

Define Rules But Allow Some Leeway For Your Child

You should clearly define the rules around your household. Reward good behaviors and discourage unwanted ones consistently. However, you should also take into account their ADHD-related problems and provide some leeway in handling them. Take note that they are fully capable of adapting to change and allow them to learn from their mistakes.

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Don’t Dwell On The Small Stuff Too Much

If your kid forgot to do one of their chores, don’t make a big deal out of it. They might have done three more chores plus their school homework. That’s already a feat for somebody who has this disability. Stop being a perfectionist because you will never be satisfied with their performance. It will only be detrimental to both you and your child.

Always Stay Calm

Many psychologists emphasize the power of staying calm. If you’re out of control in terms of emotions and words, the child’s anger will also escalate. Being in this two-way battle will result in a non-productive discussion and outcome. These situations will also delay the tasks even longer. Always remember to diffuse instead of disengage.

Misalignment in any parenting relationship can be downright ugly—but when a child with special needs is involved, it’s even more critical that parents align themselves effectively to ensure the child is getting the care and support they need. — Liz Matheis Ph.D.

Employ Self-Care

Take note that you are your child’s role model and source of strength. Therefore, you need to be on his or her side every step of the way. You can only do this if you take care of yourself and engage in a healthy lifestyle. You can employ self-care by doing the following:

  • Ask for support. Do not think that you are all alone in this challenge. Some people are willing to lend a hand every time you are feeling down. These include your family members, your child’s doctor, therapists, support groups, and other friends.
  • Have a healthy lifestyle. Make sure to eat right, regulate sleep patterns, exercise regularly, and meditate. If you’re not feeling well, acknowledge it, and get help.
  • Take breaks. Don’t be guilty of leaving your child to another person for a day. It is an effective way to have time for yourself and take sanity breaks.

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There are a lot of psychological, medical, or sociological practices to address ADHD. But you still have to keep all of these in mind as a parent. Being in this situation requires a lot of planning. Rest assured that everything will be fulfilling and pleasurable in the end.

Honestly, one of the best ways to be a “good parent” is to simply love your children unconditionally. — R. Y. Langham, Ph.D.

How Friends And Relatives Should Treat A Kid With Depression

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 One in twenty kids (that’s one child in every elementary classroom) are estimated to have depression. Many times, it’s triggered by a traumatic event, such as parent’s divorce, moving or changing schools, or sickness. — John Smith Ph.D.

I grew up knowing a little boy named David (not his real name) who used to feel so unloved and unwanted in his household. Whenever the aunts and uncles visited their home, they would always point out his wrongdoings and scold him for every single mistake. E.g., spilling a drop of soup on the table, turning up the volume of the TV, etc. Even David’s parents would do the same and pressure him into being #1 in his entire grade; that’s why he couldn’t help but resent his family. He was not supposed to reason out or talk back to the elders, though, so his only outlet was doing thin cuts on his leg to forget his situation somehow. Of course, he did not divulge that problem to them, but his parents eventually saw the cuts and brought the little boy straight to a therapist.

As per a psychologist’s diagnosis, David was suffering from depression. It made his parents’ hearts ache so bad that they frantically asked the licensed therapist about what they could do to help their poor child. The most practical suggestion that they received was to get the friends, and other relatives know about David’s condition so that they would not add to his depressive feelings.

Now, if you are acquainted or related to any kid like David who has been diagnosed with depression, here’s how you should behave around them.

1. Don’t Talk About The Mental Disorder

The first no-no as someone who knows the depressed kid but is not his or her mom or dad is to avoid talking about the fact that you are aware of their depression. For one, it can make them feel small after learning that the news about their condition has already reached other people. Once the adults know about something, after all, they know that it will only take time before their classmates and other kids hear about it as well. Then, they fear of getting bullied because of it. If you want to ease the troubled youngster’s situation, therefore, you should talk about anything but depression in front of them.

n her cross-cultural research on depression, psychologist Yulia Chentsova-Dutton likens depression’s constellations of symptoms to the starry sky. It’s the same universal experience of suffering, the same black vastness above our heads dotted with bright and dim lights. — Marianna Pogosyan Ph.D.

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2. Encourage The Depressed Child To Talk Anytime

Although it is not ideal to speak about the mental disorder deliberately, it still matters to help the depressed kid bring out their bottled-up thoughts and emotions. That is the only thing that prevents them from healing, to be honest.

One technique that you can try is to start a game with different children in which the loser has to mention something that he or she feels sad. When the depressed child sees others being unafraid to talk about their emotions in the presence of an adult, he or she may follow suit without hesitation. However, if it does not happen for the first time, you should use another tactic next time instead of forcing the kid to speak up.

3. Know Their Triggers

Another thing to keep in mind is that anyone with a psychological issue has buttons that can be triggered by various scenarios. There are no generalized trigger factors; everyone has a different case. Therefore, it will be wise for you to find out what they are for the child that you will be dealing with to avoid making them feel more depressed than ever.

In David’s case, his depression gets triggered when he hears someone shouting angrily even he’s not the one getting screamed at. Whatever facial expression he has dissolves into nothing as soon as the yelling comes and you can see him internally retreating in the dark corners of his mind when it happens. For that reason, shouting is ill-advised when David is around.

4. Help The Kid Appreciate What He Or She Has

Children as young as three years old get diagnosed with depression, and many parents cannot figure out why. Some say that it is because of the pressure that society puts on them; others think that it is brought by the things they see on the internet.

While it’s hard to tell which is which for every kid, what’s typical for most depressed individuals, young and old, is that they tend to focus on the negative aspects of life. “My life is trash because I can’t have this or that.” “How can I live if I can’t get everything I want?” “I am too unfortunate for not being able to buy anything I want.” When you show them what they have in subtle ways, though, it may not take long before they realize that: a) they are still blessed, and 2) not having some things is not enough to lay waste to their beautiful life.

…the interaction between the mother and the infant/toddler determines the child’s later neurodevelopment. For instance, longitudinal studies from 2002 found that the hippocampus of those with symptoms of depression had less volume and lower cortical volume as young adults, influencing their psychosocial interactions, emotional regulation, and cognitive function. — William L. Mace Ph.D.

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Final Thoughts

Helping an adult overcome depression is not easy, even if you are practically on the same wavelength. Thus, you can expect to deal with a depressed child to be much harder than that, especially since they do not understand how the world revolves just yet. Despite that, try your best to be of help to save someone from such a mental disorder.

Good luck!